PROFESSOR ILEY OSS

Once upon a time there was a mad professor called Professor Iley Oss all because he had a stoma and kept on making artificial bowels in his workshop so people could keep them as spares just in case their bowels got blocked, but in doing so they pay the price for such experiments, because, as a result if fake bowels are installed inside the belly they could blow up and the stomach could go off like a bomb, so, beware of crazy body parts invented by Professor Iley Oss because he's just one mad scientist gone too far. Once he invented a human head just for one customer to try on and what happened, the head blew up and shattered it's eyes, nose, ears and brain all over the place, but, one organ - the brain did really go haywire. it jumped up onto a man's face and tried to eat it (a man - eating brain), but Master Bellyache, Professor Iley Oss's assistant pulled it off. He then jumped on the brain, but the brain got too big for it's boots and ate Master Bellyache. However, only one minute after he got eaten Master Bellyache came back to life again. So the only option was to cook the mad brain and eat it, but, just as one man tried to eat the brain his mouth dropped off and fell onto the floor.

Although the mouth was on the floor it still could move because if mouth, eyes, ears and nose drop down onto the floor they develop a life of their own.

The mouth that dropped onto the floor after it fell off a man's face climbed up a table leg and bit into it. the table screamed in pain and had to be rushed to hospital. However, just as one of the doctors tried to examine the injured dining room table it kicked him in the breadbasket.
The doctor  screamed in pain, so much, that the ceiling came crashing down and  all the lights walked away. Two doctors, Doctor Kiss and Doctor Blockage, picked up the ceiling and returned it to it's rightful position. The next thing was to catch the runaway lights and put them back onto the ceiling.

The table that attacked a doctor had to be tied to a bed so doctors could examine it. Once done the table got wheeled into the operating theatre and had it's leg amputated.
To grow a new leg the table had to have birdseed sprinkled all over it.