THE NEWS

Bernard Tismangle has been expelled from his centre because he smashed the whole place up.

The man couldn't get his own way and went berserk.

He chucked his dinner on the floor and urinated on his dinner plate.

One of the staff couldn't put up with it in the end and sent Bernard Tismangle packing.

He then got his wild up, got hold of a car belonging to one of the staff at the centre, picked it up and chucked it through the window.

"Right! I have had enough of you Bernard 'Tismadman' Tismangle, so there's no other option than to expel you from the day centre, because you're a dangerous man, so hop it and don't come back."

One of the builders building the new Dennis Centre witnessed Bernard Tismangle chucking a car through the window and shouted to him:

"You, you madman, why don't you fall down a cess pit and eat muck."

The builder then got hold of a tree and chucked it at Bernard Tismangle, missing him by an inch.

he was lucky, but not the tree, for it fell down a bog pit in the road and rotted away to stinking mouldy tree cabbage.

The smell was so foul and revolting that people threw up along the street - vomiting so violently that all their innards and their organs shot right out of their mouths after being forced up and scattered themselves along the street.

There were hearts, lungs and kidneys lying all over the place, and didn't they arf pong - like rotten eggs.

Not only that the body organs rotted away, leaving such a horrible stink that the outside became too poisonous to endure, forcing people to flee into buildings because they just couldn't bear the horrible stink coming from rotting body organs.

But help was at hand for a load of police helicopters arrived on the scene with disinfectant bombs which they released into the atmosphere. They then came raining down onto the street below, killing all the germs.

Although the innards that escaped from peoples' bodies were still lying on the ground the stench was no more for the disinfectant bombs had killed all the germs, but it was too late to help the people who had vomited up all their body organs, for they had all died.