THE DAY BERNARD BIGHEAD CREATED HAVOC AT TESCO

One day whilst out shopping in Tesco Bernard Bighead got hold of a bottle of milk and emptied it straight onto the floor. The carer who was with him shopping became absolutely disgusted with Bernie's behavior and reported it to the store manager. She responded by chucking him out of the store and telling him not to come back.




Bernard Bighead got banned from every Tesco store after deliberately emptying a bottle of milk on the floor.




Bernie went berserk, got hold of a supermarket trolley and sent it careering towards the store.

The trolley went right into a woman and knocked her flying.




"You, you Troublemaker, I've just about had enough of you, said the carer who took Bernard Bighead shopping. You're just a filthy load of cow's muck, so hop it and don't come back."




Bernard Bighead was sent packing and darted out of the Tesco campus like a shot. He then had to make his own way home.




In future Bernard Bighead's shopping would have to be done by the carer because of the mayhem the man created when he was in Tesco.




However, the story doesn't stop here for one day Bernard Bighead decided to take revenge for what happened when he was barred from Tesco for, in a moment of madness he burst into Tesco and sent supermarket trolleys careering through the store, knocking loads of people over. In fact one man had all his eggs smashed when Bernard Bighead hurled a trolley at him knocking him off his feet.




The Troublemaker even deliberately opened up a tins of beans and hurled them at people, and went even further when he punched a man's head off. The head landed on the floor.

Despite the fact that he had no head because Bernard Bighead knocked his head off when he took a swipe at him the headless man managed to walk down the aisles and even bought a bottle of milk.

It's amazing how a headless man could buy a bottle of milk because how could you see what to buy if you've got no head on your body.




The answer:

Using one sense, and that sense is touch.




The store manager and Tesco's prime minister arrived on the scene, grabbed hold of Bernard Bighead and rammed a fist down his throat.

Soon after that they threw him out.




You see the reason why Bernard Bighead took terrible revenge, ending in knocking a man's head off, it's because he got banned for deliberately pouring a bottle of milk on the floor.




When the news about Bernard Bighead's mad rampage in Tesco reached the carer in Goodwood Lodge she decided to take action, and what even shocked her more than anything was the incident in which a man's head was knocked off.




"How could he do something like that, knocking off a man's head said the carer. Because of this I,m going to phone Bernard Bighead's cousin Alan key in order to get Bernie removed from Goodwood Lodge.




"I'm afraid Bernard Bighead will have to be sectioned because he's far too dangerous.

He could even end up knocking over the houses of parliament.




Bernard Bighead got bundled into a car at Goodwood Lodge and taken to Cry Bostic Psychiatric institution, a mental hospital dealing with people who knock off peoples' heads and even demolishing them.




Once he got sent away it was supposed to be the end of all trouble, but it wasn't, for one of the five other Bernard Bigheads who live in Goodwood Lodge went berserk and tried to ram a car into the block but was stopped by Support home's armed guards.